How to be happy with your choices

(photo credit: jimbonham.com)

Have you ever thought about what “super hero power” you would like to have?  Flight?  X-ray vision?  Probably the one I most often think about would be the ability to be in more than one place at a time.  Sometimes it feels like there are too many opportunities, too many responsibilities, and too little me.

This past weekend was one of those times. There were four places I wanted to be: the high school graduation of my nephew, the high school graduation of my next door neighbor who is like another daughter, the wedding of a young lady who grew up in our church, and the funeral of a friend and mentor.  Four places I wanted to be; the one I chose would, by necessity, eliminate others.  How could I possibly be happy with one choice and have no regrets about the others?

Jesus said, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).  No pressure!

I once heard someone say, “The road is narrow, but we get to use the whole road.”  That stuck with me, and the more I have thought about it, the more I am convinced that it is Biblically sound.  I did a search of the concept of choices in the Bible. Here’s what I found: the word “choice” is found 34 times in the New International Version, “chosen” - 125, “chose” – 45, “choose” – 66, “choices” – 0. The vast majority of those occurrences are talking about God’s choice, not ours. Hmmm.

Here’s one that is talking about ours: “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).

It seems that the pivotal choice for us is whom we will serve (Joshua 24:15), which sets the direction of our lives (Matthew 7:13-14).  Within those parameters, we are able to exercise some discretion in our choices. So, here are some of my thoughts on some filters that will allow us to make good choices without regrets.  If I choose A over B:

1    1.     Will my choice do anything to dishonor God or undermine my life’s choice to serve Him?
2.     Can God be glorified in my choice and will I behave in such a way that He will be?
3.     Can I make this choice joyfully?
4.     Are there ways I can demonstrate faith, love, and respect in the choices I decline?

Sometimes, choices are really no-brainers.  When they aren’t, our lives matter so much to God that He doesn’t leave us without resources. 

Choose joyfully.  Love deeply.

Question:  What are some ways you can think of that help with filter #4 above?

Leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear your perspective.

Oh, Grow Up, Ya Big Baby!

(photo credit: multiplemayhemmamma.com)

Grow up!  I’ve both spoken those words and had them spoken to me. Sometimes (rarely, I’m sure), it is because I might have been behaving in a slightly juvenile manner.  One of my friends used to say, “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” 

I’m pretty sure that, “Grow up!” whether aimed at me or from me, says more about the speaker than it does about the target.  It likely means that the speaker is irritated, inconvenienced, or maybe embarrassed by the actions of another. And it rarely results in growth. 

Try these out sometime: (1) Tell your grass to grow and see how it responds. (2) Tell a puppy to grow up and stop chewing your shoes and tinkling on the floor. (3) Tell a baby to grow up and stop crying. (4) Tell a middle aged preacher/writer to grow up and stop using the word “tinkling” in public.

I had an “Aha” moment during my devotional reading this morning. Along with my Bible, I also read through a devotional book each year.  This year, it is the classic devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers.  Here is a quote from this morning’s reading:

“So often we impair God’s designed influence, which He desires to exhibit through us, because of our own conscious efforts to be consistent and useful.  Jesus said there is only one way to develop and grow spiritually, and that is through focusing and concentrating on God.  In essence, Jesus was saying, ‘Do not worry about being of use to others; simply believe on Me.’ In other words, pay attention to the Source, and out of you ‘will flow rivers of living water’ (John 7:38). We cannot discover the source of our natural life through common sense and reasoning, and Jesus is teaching here that growth in our spiritual life comes not from focusing directly on it, but from concentrating on our Father in heaven.”

I can’t tell you how many times, as a pastor and church consultant, I have wanted to tell people to grow up and stop being spiritual babies.  I’ve preached those sermons and heard those sermons preached.  But here’s the problem.  People don’t grow physically, emotionally, or spiritually because someone told them to try harder to grow.  Healthy people with healthy habits will grow in all those ways, not because they are focusing on growth, but because they are focusing on a lifestyle that will result in growth. 

Spiritually, that means focusing on obeying God and following Jesus … Reading the Bible and praying, not to grow, but to converse with God … Going to church, not to grow, but to worship God together with His people … Getting involved in various ministries, not to grow, but because we love Him and want others to know Him.

Our lives matter so much to God that He never tells us to “Grow up!”  He just shows up and shows us how.

Look up, child!  

Question: What is hindering your growth?

Leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear your perspective.

Let's make our own conspiracy

(photo credit: diabetesmine.com)

I was driving through a small town in the Texas panhandle a few days ago. It was already past my bedtime, which means it was dark.  (I get up early, so I go to bed early. Some have suggested that age has something to do with that. I suggest that they mind their own bedtimes). Now, back to my story.

So, driving through this town, I saw one of those scrolling LED signs outside a business establishment.  The date was May 13.  Here’s what the sign said: “Happy Holidays!”

My first thought was, “Wow!  They really need to update their sign.”  My second thought was, “OMGoodness!  The same Secularists who have stolen Christmas are now out to get Mother’s Day!  First, they won’t let us mention Jesus!  Now, they are taking away Mama!  What’s next?  Let me remind you that, after bedtime, my SQ (sarcasm quotient) really ratchets up. Let me also remind you that this is not necessarily good news.

For anyone who doesn't know, I should tell you that I am not offended by “Happy Holidays.”  I wrote a couple of Life Matters columns back in December, 2011, where I addressed that. (Happy Holidays, Dec 5, 2011 & The Truth About Happy Holidays, Dec 12, 2011)  So, I’m thinking, just like the “Holiday Season” starts with Thanksgiving in November and runs through New Year’s in January, maybe this business was celebrating the season between Cinco de Mayo and Memorial Day?

Some wag once said, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not all really out to get you.”  I guess that could be adapted to say, “Just because you’re a conspiracy theorist doesn’t mean they’re not really conspiring.” Maybe there really is a conspiracy to steal Christmas.  There is certainly an undeniable dismissiveness (at best) or loathing (at worst) for evangelical Christianity in many of the upper echelons of government and academia. We are certainly made to look like total dolts and/or hypocrites in most Hollywood productions.

I’m still not much of a conspiracy theorist.  My third thought, on seeing the “Happy Holidays” sign on May 13 was, “Maybe they just put that up to draw some attention.”  Maybe some of the people who are angry at or dismissive of Christianity just really want some attention.

So, let’s start our own conspiracy.  Let’s take seriously the words of Jesus: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:43-44)

What if we conspired together to give attention to enemies like Jesus gave attention to His?  What if we conspired together to give skeptics and critics a reason to believe that our lives, and theirs, matter to God? What if we conspired together to give people the impression that their ideas matter as much to us as we would like for our ideas to matter to them?  Maybe our holidays would be a little happier and maybe we would have more impact on our culture.

Just a theory.

Question: How would joining this conspiracy affect your life?

Leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear your perspective.

I'm just sayin'

(photo credit: twitter)

“Christians should not be whiners or jerks. No, I am not referencing anyone in particular. Yes, you can quote me.”  That was my Facebook post Friday morning.  I said it in a conversation earlier in the day and it seemed worth sharing.  (Writer’s occupational hazard).

Some of you know that Life Matters appears in both blog and newspaper column format.  Some may not know that I write another blog almost every day. Dr. G’s Morning Cup of Encouragement is posted every day except Friday (pretty much).  You can find it at www.drgencouragement.blogspot.com . I’d love to have you join my community there.

When I wrote that blog this morning, I thought it might be worth sharing with my Life Matters readers.  So, here it is.

"But the people remained silent and said nothing in reply, because the king had commanded, 'Do not answer him.'" (Isaiah 36:21)

There is a long back-story to this verse that is beyond the scope of this post. (It may, however result in a good sermon sometime). For our purposes today, let me just say that sometime around 700 BC the Field Commander of the Assyrian army was publicly taunting the representatives of the king of Israel. He basically told them that their God could not save them from the might of the Assyrian army. Instead of getting into a shouting match, or a negotiation, they listened and said nothing (following orders given by their king).

A few days ago, I heard some good advice to leaders: "Sit down, shut up, and listen." In our increasingly strident and argumentative culture, there seems to be a belief that arguments are won by volume and/or violence. We feel that we must shout louder or hit harder. And if we don't hit harder physically, then we must hit harder with our words. After all we have to stand up for what we believe!

The responses that we often give may actually call some of our beliefs into question. I am wondering today how some situations might be different if we were to pause and pray before we speak in these situations ... If we were to ask God what we should say ... If we were to ask God IF WE SHOULD SPEAK AT ALL.

What if "just sayin'" were preceded by "just prayin'"?

Question: What are some strategies you might employ to be sure that your words are guided by God?

I think that’s a pretty good question.

I heard another good quote this week:  “Choose being Godly over being great.”  There may not be a better example of that than the words we choose. “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks … But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” (Matthew 12:34; 36)

Our lives matter so much to God that He cares about what and how we speak. I’m just sayin’.

How to never have another bad day

(photo credit: entrepreneur.com)

When my kids were little, we often read to them the classic children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

We've all had those days, right?  The day starts off with a malfunctioning alarm clock or a headache or an early morning phone call or text message.  It gets us off on the wrong foot. As Mrs. Sweetie says, “Some days I wake up grumpy. Other days I let him sleep.”

And the day continues: late for work … intolerant boss … insubordinate employees … unreasonable customers … unreliable vendors … indigestion after lunch … spilled coffee … speeding ticket on the way home … you get the point.

And then there are those days that put the previously mentioned events in perspective:  a bad medical report … death of a loved one … divorce papers … civil litigation … really bad days.

What if there were a way to never have another bad day?  Well, sign me up!

Actually, I’m already signed up.  If you were to ask me when was the last bad day I had, I couldn't identify one. If you don’t know me, you might think I’m either exaggerating, flat out lying, or that my life has been amazingly trouble free.  Not so.  I have experienced every one of those things I mentioned, with the exception of civil litigation (and the divorce papers were my parents’, not mine).  If you've read my columns over the past few weeks, you know that I have suffered deep loss and grief recently.  And yet, I can’t think of a bad day.  How can that be?

The secret is perspective.  My perspective is that life is not made up of days, but of moments.  Even in the darkest days (and I have had some stretches that were so dark that medication was necessary), there are still moments where I can see God’s grace.  On the worst of days, there are God-moments: a note, phone call or email of encouragement … an unexpected hug … encouraging words from the pages of Scripture … words of affection, appreciation, or affirmation … and sometimes nothing more than remembering some of God’s promises to those who belong to Him.

Joshua 1:5 - I will never leave you nor forsake you ... Matthew 28:20 - I am with you always, to the very end of the age … Philippians 4:7 - The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus … Jeremiah 29:11 - I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future … 1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Our lives, and our days, matter so much to God that He invades our moments with reminders of His goodness.

Goodbye, bad days.  Hello, God-moments.

Question:  How can you begin to shift your focus from days to moments?

Leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear your perspective.

Safe!

(photo credit: timesdispatch.com)

At least 90% of the time, I write this blog from my rocking chair in my living room.  It is my place to meet with God each morning, consume much coffee, and be inspired. I’m working on getting my home office/man cave set up where I can work/write/record for long, uninterrupted periods of time, but the mornings will still begin in the rocking chair.

I've occasionally written from other places like church parking lots, coffee shops (coffee = necessary writing tool), and even waiting in line for the ferry to Vancouver Island.  Today it is the table in my dad’s dining room.

God came and took our Thingy (my stepmother: Life Matters, April 7) to be with Him early last Thursday morning. We celebrated her life with memorial services, conversations, food, friends, and music for all of this past weekend.  Now that most everyone has gone home,  Mrs. Sweetie and I decided to stay for a few more days and help Dad out with some things.

When I spoke at Thingy’s memorial service Saturday afternoon, I referenced a passage from Psalm 116.  The New Living Translation of verses 15-16 says, “The Lord cares deeply when his loved ones die. O Lord, I am your servant; yes, I am your servant, born into your household; you have freed me from my chains.” [emphasis mine]

While meditating on those verses a couple of weeks back, it occurred to me that Thingy was about to be released from the chains of cancer, MS, and the wheelchair that has been her constant means of transportation for 20 years. 

As I shared those thoughts, I reminded those gathered that we should never say that she lost her battle with cancer.  Cancer did everything it could.  It took her final breath at 12:50 a.m. Thursday morning.  But since she is now more alive than she has ever been, cancer has walked away the loser.  Thingy was quite the athlete in her day and softball was one of her specialties.  I told them that, on Thursday morning, she slid head-first into home plate and God shouted, “Safe!”  Then she stood up, Jesus dusted her off, and she ran a victory lap around the bases.  Completely. Ultimately. Healed.

I share that thought today for a couple of reasons.  One is that I have chronicled my journey with her illness in my column and blog writing for the past several weeks--partly as my therapy and partly to share with you what God has been teaching me—and we all needed to write the closing paragraphs on this chapter.

Another reason is that I suspect someone (or several someone’s) reading this may be walking through some difficult days with one of your loved ones. Our lives matter so much to God that He wants us to see the big picture.  He wants us to see that those who belong to Him do not lose in death.

The chains are gone … Safe!

Question:  What do you need so that you can see the death of a loved one as a victory?

Leave me a comment below.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Let's Make it Simple.

As a long-time preacher, I appreciate preacher jokes.  Like the preacher who noticed his wife sitting on the front row holding a little sign with one word: KISS.  After the service, he told her how much her expression of affection encouraged him and that he almost blew her a kiss back in response.  She informed him that she was not blowing him a kiss.  She was reminding him to “Keep It Short & Simple”.

Or how about the seminary professor who told his “preacher boys” that there were three parts to a successful sermon: (1) Stand up and be seen; (2) Speak up and be heard; (3) Shut up and be appreciated.

Please do not use either of those messages on your pastor.

The late Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, was a preacher of sorts.  He certainly was not a Christ-following gospel preacher.  In fact, he was one weird and really “out there” dude.  But he had a message: “Simplify”.  If you use a smart phone, you can probably thank Steve Jobs (or curse him on those days when you would like to throw that smart-aleck piece of technology in the nearest dumpster).  There was a time when some of us carried a beeper to be reachable, a walk-man to take our music with us, and either a calendar/notebook or one of those little personal digital assistant things to keep up with important dates and appointments.  When we added a big ol’ mobile phone, we had a ton (or at least several pounds) of technology to carry around. Mr. Simplify started asking what would happen if all those could be combined into one simple piece of equipment and voila! Hello, iPhone!

(photo credit: idownloadblog.com)

Now, I don’t intend for this column to be an apologetic for Apple, iPhone, or technology of any sort.  I am a significant consumer and user of technology for both personal and professional purposes, but that is not relevant for this conversation.

My point today is that we all need to simplify.  I’m not talking about going back to a simpler time.  Though I can understand the appeal, that option is not really open to us culturally if we are going to fulfill the purpose God has for us in the world. I’m talking about a less complicated, convoluted, and frenetic approach to life.  I’m talking about listening to the Master of Simplicity (Jesus, not Steve Jobs), who said:

"So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.’” (Matthew 6:31-33, New Living Translation)

We don’t need a more complicated message.  We need a clearer message.  We don’t need more stuff.  We need more focus on the reality that our lives really do matter to God.

And that is simply profound. 

Question: What is one thing you can do TODAY to regain that focus?

Leave a comment below.  I'd love to hear your perspective.